Using Feedback in Development

Over the course of my career, I’ve learned to be okay with getting things wrong.       Not because it feels good (it doesn’t), but because every mistake creates an opportunity to learn and grow. And because it means someone trusted me enough to tell me when I missed the mark. That kind of honesty feels increasingly rare—especially in a world where AI is telling people exactly what they want to hear and where people increasingly gravitate toward information that confirms their beliefs.      That’s why I think one of the most valuable skills you can cultivate is this: Find people who will give you tough feedback.      Across my time at Microsoft, the Gates Foundation, and Pivotal, the moments that shaped me the most weren’t the wins. They were the times when someone I trusted pulled me aside and gave me feedback I needed to hear. These conversations helped me see what I’d missed and rethink how I was showing up, which made me a better leader. But they only happened because the people around me knew they could be honest, and in fact, I expected them to be. You can’t grow—or help your teams grow—if you act like you’re the only one with all the answers.      I’ve seen this in every place I’ve worked. The leaders who made the biggest impact weren’t the ones who got it right all the time. They were the ones who created the conditions for honesty. Their teams felt free to surface new ideas, ask tough questions, and admit their mistakes. And those leaders were humble enough to hear feedback about themselves—and then take the steps to do things differently.       My advice on how to build this skill? Seek out colleagues and mentors you can trust to give you honest feedback. Ask for it often. Be vulnerable—not defensive—and take the opportunity to understand what you didn’t see before. It will transform the way you learn, lead, and build teams that thrive. #SkillsontheRise 

80% of feedback never changes behavior. Not because people don’t care… But because of how it’s delivered. Your style and tone makes a difference. The feedback you give can spark change or trigger resistance. It’s not about being “nice” or “tough.” It’s about being strategic. Here are 5 approaches that turn tough conversations into growth opportunities: 1. COIN Method For when performance needs a reset. Most people jump straight to criticism. But starting with context creates safety. “In yesterday’s meeting…” feels specific. “You always…” feels like an attack. The magic is in the Next step: Don’t just point out problems. Co-create solutions. 2. SBI Model For when you’re recognizing wins or addressing gaps. Vague praise like “Great job” doesn’t teach. Specific feedback does. “When you asked that clarifying question, the client leaned in…” That’s something they can actually repeat. 3. STAR/AR Method For when someone’s ready to level up. Most feedback looks backward. This one builds forward. Review what happened → then explore alternatives. You’re not just fixing mistakes. You’re expanding capacity. 4. DESC Script For when you need to set boundaries. Boundaries don’t push people away. They build trust. The key is Express. Own your experience without blame. “I feel…” lands. “You make me feel…” doesn’t. That’s how accountability shifts. 5. GROW Model For when someone needs guidance, not answers Old-school feedback = “Here’s what to do.” GROW = “Let’s uncover it together.” The power move? Stay curious longer. Ask “What else?” at least 3 times. The best ideas usually come last. One more truth: timing beats technique. Give feedback within 48 hours when memory is fresh. Don’t fire off complaints in the moment. And don’t wait for the once-a-year performance review. Find the sweet spot where perspective is clear and the moment still matters. That’s when feedback creates growth. ♻️ Repost if this helps you (or your team) have conversations that actually create change. 👉 Follow Desiree Gruber for more tools on storytelling, leadership, and brand building.

If your feedback isn't changing behavior, you're not giving feedback—you're just complaining. After 25 years of coaching leaders through difficult conversations, I've learned that most feedback fails because it focuses on making the giver feel better rather than making the receiver better. Why most feedback doesn't work: ↳ It's delivered months after the fact ↳ It attacks personality instead of addressing behavior ↳ It assumes the person knows what to do differently ↳ It's given when emotions are high ↳ It lacks specific examples or clear direction The feedback framework that actually changes behavior: TIMING: Soon, not eventually. Give feedback within 48 hours when possible Don't save it all for annual reviews. Address issues while they're still relevant. INTENT: Lead with purpose and use statements like - "I'm sharing this because I want to see you succeed" or "This feedback comes from a place of support." Make your positive intent explicit. STRUCTURE: Use the SBI Model. ↳Situation: When and where it happened ↳Behavior: What you observed (facts, not interpretations) ↳Impact: The effect on results, relationships, or culture COLLABORATION: Solve together by using statements such as - ↳"What's your perspective on this?" ↳"What would help you succeed in this area?" ↳"How can I better support you moving forward?" Great feedback is a gift that keeps giving. When people trust your feedback, they seek it out. When they implement it successfully, they become advocates for your leadership. Your feedback skills significantly impact your leadership effectiveness. Coaching can help; let's chat. | Joshua Miller What's the best feedback tip/advice, and what made it effective? #executivecoaching #communication #leadership #performance

The industry is witnessing a paradigm shift in the ever-evolving landscape of video game development. Over the past two decades, the escalation in game production scope, budget, and audience expectations has been monumental, particularly challenging for smaller studios. However, advancements in development tools have enabled these teams to create more complex games than ever. Yet, matching the spectacle of AAA titles remains a financially daunting task. The solution? A strategic pivot to emergent game design. This approach focuses on player agency and creativity rather than expensive, linear content many players may only partially experience. By analyzing trends and player behavior, it's evident that games offering open-ended, interactive worlds, like Minecraft or Fortnite, retain player engagement by fostering a creative ecosystem. This philosophy isn't just for indie developers; even AAA studios, such as Nintendo with "The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom," are shifting towards systemic, emergent designs, emphasizing interactive, physics-driven elements over traditional, scripted sequences. Observing games like Pikmin shows that an extensive number of levels isn't necessary to maintain player engagement. Instead, Pikmin masterfully unveils its depth gradually, introducing layer upon layer of gameplay elements and features. This method, akin to the epiphanies in James Joyce's literature, incorporates a mix of exploration, building, and PvP elements that enrich the player's experience. Such games have been instrumental in teaching us how to align our development strategies with the dynamic preferences of the gaming community, focusing on depth and discovery over sheer volume. - Embracing player-driven experiences over linear narratives. - Shifting focus from high-cost setpieces to interactive, open-world environments. - Learning from modding communities and their innovative approaches. - Developing games that offer endless possibilities and replay value. - Collaborating and learning from emergent design projects for future success. #EmergentGameDesign #PlayerDrivenExperience #GameDevInsights #InnovativeGameplay #SystemicDesign #GamingTrends #InteractiveWorlds #CreativeGaming #GameIndustryShift #PikminAnalysis #GameDesignStrategy #FutureOfGaming #PlayerEngagement #DevelopmentTrends #GamingCommunityPreferences

Five things I worked on with Arne Slot over two years at Feyenoord: 1. High Performance Mindset - making sure every player in the team has a mental framework to help them find their best possible mindset as often as possible 2. Shared Mental Model - in essence a Team High Performance Mindset…with an all-in approach across the organisation…a shared language and set of behaviours related to best possible team mindset 3. Acceptance-Commitment - understanding that all players have unhelpful thoughts, emotions, and feelings. They don’t do them on purpose. They are (probably) best served learning how to accept their inner impulses…and commit to turning their attention onto their mental frameworks away from their unhelpful thoughts, emotions, and feelings 4. Every activity in every session is an opportunity to work on mindset and psycho-social skills…inject these into session design, coach behaviours, and training plans 5. Player participation in training sessions help players share their lens of the game, helps them develop their leadership skills, and positively influences teamwork. Finding ways to help players participate in training, engage, and talk is essential (Note: none of the above isn’t to suggest he didn’t know these…but they were things we discussed most and emphasised)

Leaders who avoid hard feedback aren’t protecting their people, they are setting them up to fail. Feedback is one of the most powerful tools we have in leadership but it’s also one of the most misused. Because leaders confuse compassion with avoidance, softening the truth until it loses all usefulness, or withholding it altogether under the guise of kindness. Compassionate feedback is about caring enough to be honest, in a way that allows other people to hear it. At APS Intelligence, we use a framework for compassionate feedback, designed to ensure that even difficult messages are delivered with clarity and respect: 1. Frame the feedback - Start by recognising effort and value to create psychological safety and remind people their work is seen and appreciated. 2. Ask permission - Feedback lands better when people feel like they have agency. Asking “Can I talk to you about something I’ve noticed?” is, as Dr. Shelby Hill says, a gentle knock on the door of someone’s psyche instead of barging in. 3. Be precise and objective - Describe what you’ve observed, not your interpretation of it. Feedback should focus on behaviour, not character. 4. Explain the impact - Share how the behaviour affects others or the work. Clarity about consequences builds accountability without blame. 5. Stay curious and open - Avoid assumptions. Ask questions that invite dialogue and understanding, not defence. 6. Collaborate on next steps - Offer support, not ultimatums. Feedback should be a shared problem to solve instead of a burden to bear. 7. End with perspective - Reaffirm their strengths and remind them that one issue does not define their value. Compassionate feedback allows honesty and humanity to coexist. It ensures that when people walk away, they feel respected, even if the message was hard to hear. This is a framework we use often at APS Intelligence. You can book a tailored workshop for your people managers or leadership cohorts to explore this further.

Constructive criticism is a powerful tool for growth, and knowing what went wrong can help me make the necessary adjustments for future opportunities. Receiving feedback helps me understand areas where I might have fallen short, whether it's in my skills, communication, or understanding of the role. Without that feedback, I'm left in the dark, unsure of what went wrong or what I need to focus on for personal development. It’s not just about hearing “no,” it’s about learning from the experience and improving myself for the next challenge. I value transparency, and a little insight into what could have been better would be incredibly helpful. When feedback is given, it shows that the company cares about the candidate’s growth, even if they aren’t the right fit for the role at the moment. It’s a small step that can make a big difference in how a candidate approaches their job search and career growth. Constructive feedback allows me to refine my skills, work on areas of weakness, and come back stronger for the next opportunity. It also enhances the candidate experience, leaving me with a positive impression of the company, even if I’m not selected for the role. Providing feedback doesn’t only benefit me as a candidate it also helps the company in the long run by fostering a positive and respectful interview process. When HR takes the time to guide candidates, it reflects well on the company’s culture and commitment to growth, both for its employees and potential hires. In the end, feedback creates a win-win situation for everyone involved, turning a rejection into an opportunity for self-improvement.

One of the hardest skills for any leader is giving feedback that’s both honest and human. That tightrope feels even thinner for product managers because we lead without authority. In one of my recent workshops on "𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲" for product managers, I heard variations of the same concern again and again: ➤ “If I’m too honest, I’ll lose the team.” ➤ “If I’m too nice, I’ll lose my point.” That’s the trap: thinking you have to choose between being kind and being clear. You don’t. The best PMs—and the best leaders—practice 𝗥𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗖𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗼𝗿. A simple but powerful idea from Kim Scott: 💡 Care Personally 💡 Challenge Directly It’s not about 𝗯𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘆. It’s about 𝗯𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘆, 𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲. Here’s what that looks like: ❌ “This roadmap doesn’t make sense. You’re not thinking strategically.” ✅ “You’ve got strong instincts—what’s missing here is the ‘why’ behind our priorities. Let’s work on sharpening that.” Same message. One tears down, the other builds up.  That’s Radical Candor. Too many PMs fall into 𝗥𝘂𝗶𝗻𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆: staying quiet to protect feelings, avoiding hard conversations, but silence doesn't build teams. Feedback does. As a PM, you’re not just building products—you’re building alignment, accountability, trust and momentum. So, the next time you hesitate to speak up, or feel tempted to go blunt: Ask yourself—not just: “Am I right?” But: “𝗔𝗺 𝗜 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿?” Because as much as your team appreciates your empathy, what they'd appreciate more is empathy-infused, actionable feedback. Feedback isn’t a weapon. It’s not a performance. It’s a responsibility. And done right, it’s the most generous act of leadership. #empathy #leadership #productmanagement #radicalcandor

My workshop feedback method has a 100% response rate — and uses zero forms. I ditched post-workshop surveys because… no one filled them out and the ones who did wrote things like “Great workshop 🤗 ” (helpful… ish ⁉️ ). So now I use my four-question, four-colour sticky-note system at the closing of a workshop. It’s fast, visual, and human. It surfaces real language, real commitments, and real insight. Reflection becomes baked into the workshop instead of bolted on. Here’s the magic. I ask everyone to respond to these phrases individually 🟡 “I learned / liked / aha!” - Quick bursts of insight. One idea per sticky. No faffing. 🟢 “I will…” (What ideas do you plan to implement immediately?) - The gold. Actual commitments. I can instantly see what’s going to live beyond the room. 🔴 “I wish…” (What support do you need or what else do you wish we had explored today?) - Constructive, honest improvement ideas and what they need to succeed post-workshop. Better than any anonymous text box. 🔵 One word (What single word best describes your overall reaction to the session?) - These become my word cloud*, and it tells me the emotional temperature in one glance. Then, in small groups, participants choose their top insights, star them, and share them with the room. It turns into this joyful moment where you can see what activities really landed and what learning truly stuck. Impact? • I can literally see what resonated. • The “I will…” notes show behaviour change starting before people even leave the room. • The “I wish…” notes help me evolve each workshop immediately. • And the one-word cloud gives me a pulse check that’s surprisingly accurate. (see word cloud from 10 workshops* - 210 words - in comments) Yes, I still type them all into a spreadsheet by hand (there’s something human and connective about reading people’s handwriting). Then I let AI help me spot themes and patterns. It’s simple. It’s human. It works. And gives clients tangible, meaningful insights... Curious: how do you gather feedback that actually helps you get better? #PlayMore #JudgeLess #feedback #facilitation

Only 26% of leaders create psychological safety in their teams*. This means just 1 in 4 leaders are truly tapping into the full potential of their people. Psychological safety is the secret ingredient that turns good teams into extraordinary ones—and it doesn’t require grand gestures. It’s the small, often overlooked actions that make the biggest difference. See the examples: 1. Admit your own missteps: 🗣 Example: "Last quarter, I missed a key detail in our strategy, and it led to a delay. Here’s how I’m adjusting my approach." 2. Ask for feedback, then act 🗣 Example: "After hearing your thoughts on our meeting structure, I’ve decided to shorten our agenda and focus more on discussion." 3. Show that asking for help Is normal 🗣 Example: "I’m struggling with this new software—can someone show me how to use this feature?" 4. Celebrate the journey, not just the destination 🗣 Example: "The presentation wasn’t flawless, but the way you tackled the research was impressive." 5. Give permission to challenge 🗣 Example: "I want someone to play devil’s advocate—how could this plan go wrong?" 6. Create space for dissent 🗣 Example: "Before we finalize, let’s hear from anyone who sees this differently." 7. Reframe failure as growth 🗣 Example: "Our experiment didn’t yield the results we hoped for, but we now know what to avoid next time." 8. Demystify decision-making 🗣 Example: "We chose this vendor because they align with our long-term sustainability goals." 9. Reward curiosity 🗣 Example: "That question opened up a whole new line of thinking—thanks for bringing it up!" 10. Spotlight the quiet contributors 🗣 Example: "I want to highlight Anna’s work on the backend—it’s crucial to our project’s success, even though it’s often behind the scenes." True trust doesn't come from protecting your people from conflict or tough conversations. It’s born from inviting in every voice, especially the ones that challenge the status quo. If you're not making space for diverse ideas, you're not just missing out—you're holding your team back. * 📚 Study source: McKinsey & Co., “Psychological safety and the critical role of leadership development,” 2021.